MAKE OUT

A ‘Gleeful’ Valentine’s Day indeed....

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 11:36:48 -0500

A ‘Gleeful’ Valentine’s Day indeed. ‘Glee’ star and heartthrob extraordinaire, Darren Criss, will be covering March’s Out Magazine drenched from head to toe. His character Blaine is said to be going through a very confused state, according to creator Ryan Murphy - he’ll address this in the featured article as well. “Blaine will openly question whether bisexuality is real. I think that some people will love that discussion and some will not love it,” Murphy told the magazine, which raises the concern on whether or not it will confuse audiences (especially the small-minded against our “choice” as it is).

Darren Criss’ character Blaine was introduced on ‘Glee’ this season as the overtly confident, openly gay teenager and possible love interest to Chris Colfer’s Golden Globe winning Kurt Hummel. Now an idol, role-model and gay-icon, Criss is without a doubt the right choice to cover Out magazine. Having always been an involved in the arts, it’s not surprising that his sexuality has always been in question - but Criss assures he’s a comfortable heterosexual man who is openly supportive of the gay community. I think it’s safe to say we need more open-minded actor’s like him.

Read the entire article and check out the tantalizing photo spread at Out.com.

OutSpoken Song of the Day: Turning Tables - Adele I...

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 11:37:53 -0500

OutSpoken Song of the Day:

Turning Tables - Adele

I won’t let you close enough to hurt me…

No, I won’t ask you, you would just desert me.

Off the highly anticipated sophomore album, Adele’s 21 is looking to be another hit. Dark, ominous lyrics and heart-wrenching emotion pouring out her vocal chords, her next series of hits are showing a lot of promise and proving to be perfect timing for the lonely Valentine’s season. Pull a Cameron Diaz out of The Holiday and make your grocery store run for the essentials: red wine, bottomless boxes of chocolate and comfort food…this album is sure to tug at your heartstrings and reawaken some nostalgia.

BISEXUALS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 11:23:00 -0500

After having another bisexuality conversation recently with a friend (who is a bisexual woman, who’s girlfriend gets angry when she refers to herself as bisexual other than lesbian), I felt it’s time to bring this topic to the OutSpokenNYC page and rant my thoughts. Because that’s what I do. I’m not a writer. I’m a ranter.

The B in LGBTQ seems to keep getting forgotten. (And the “T” for that matter, but that’s a whole other Oprah) And more than forgotten, misunderstood, and at times hated on.

Why?

Well if you’re a man and you’re bisexual, that just means you’re “going to be gay”, right?

And if you’re a woman and you’re bisexual, then you’re only “going through a phase”, right?

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

BISEXUALITY IS A REAL THING!

Let me bring up my friend Mr. Alfred Kinsey, american biologist and developer of the Kinsey Scale. What is the Kinsey scale you ask? It is in fact a scale from 0 to 6, that measures a persons “level of homoexuality verses heterosexuality”

Take a look:

0   Exclusively heterosexual
1   Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2   Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3   Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
4   Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5   Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6   Exclusively homosexual

Please take note of #3. And as Mr. Kinsey says in his introduction to the scale, “[Persons] do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats.”

I think many people fall somewhere on this scale other than 0 or a 6. I myself, would consider myself a 5. or maybe even a 4.5. (Yes, I’m allowed to make my own in between numbers as I wish) Because although I’m mainly only attracted to men, I’ve had strong (real) attraction to some women, and am by no means myself afraid of vaginas, haha.

So why do we push them into these categories of “going to be gay” and “just a phase” so often?

Well yes, it’s true there’s been a lot of cases of The Boy Who Cried Bi, but in actuality was gay and dipping his toe in to test the water temperature of Lake Homo. (I myself was “bi” for a few months) And it’s true, we’ve seen many girls gone wild who “go bi” to be rebellious, when they are actually heterosexual women. But we can’t let this take away the value of bisexuality as an orientation.

Why do we as a LGBTQ “community” fight for equality for gays and lesbians, and at the same time not care about our bisexual brothers and sisters. Do they not deserve the same rights?

People who have a problem with bisexuality, and try to make it into a phase rather than a sexual orientation, generally are afraid of it. (as with most prejudices) Gay men and women don’t want to have a relationship with someone who is bisexual, because they are threatened by the fact that their partner could be attracted to other men AND women. What a thought?! Twice the chance that they could find attraction in another human being and leave you for them.

Some lesbians also have a special case of disliking bisexual women due to the whole “just a phase” idea making the lesbian orientation come across as “less serious”. And I understand their feelings, but we need to be able to separate the people creating the stereotypes, and those who are actually bisexual in orientation. And in cases like my friend who’s girlfriend is unhappy with her identifying as bisexual, we are adding to the “just a phase” problem. Because some day if my friend now (who, because of her girlfriend, many times says she is a lesbian) decides to date a man, guess who looks like they “went through a phase” when they were in reality bisexual.

We spend so much time preaching that we don’t want to be judged for being who we are… well practice what you preach ladies and gentlemen.

Love and let love.

-Stevie

Response: Has Texting Killed Romance

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 13:11:41 -0500

In an age where we find ourselves communicating with our loved ones with both ease and convenience, Ashton Kutcher (yes, of Punked and Twitter fame) raises the question: “Are we becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?” In some cases, absolutely.

Remember the time in High School when you would have to fight your parents to just GET a cell phone for your birthday or a holiday? The time where passing notes in the hallway and emailing was the easiest way to reach out to your friends, boyfriends and girlfriends? Even then, it seemed a bit more personal to hand-write something rather than easily showcasing the best of yourself through a spell-checker or erase what you really wanted to say (maybe not in the most eloquent way) to make YOU look like your “best possible version” of yourself. We have found ourselves in a time where these millennials (myself included) have been trained to communicate in the easiest and most impersonal fashion. Is it easier to tell somebody they care face to face or by text? Or is it easier to use the texting tool as a crutch to make yourself look too busy to pick up the phone and engage in a 5 minute conversation to genuinely see how the other is doing? Don’t get me wrong, I love to text, Tweet, Facebook message, OkCupid (back before I disabled my account) and even D-List. I was never one for the online hook-up but I have dabbled in the past because, frankly, the gay community is always looking for some sort of validation that they matter. Yes this is all much easier but it does raises more complications. One sentence could have a thousand meanings, especially for you over-analyzing gays out there (hell, myself included) but so can your verbal tone. Has texting killed romance? To a degree, yes. As Kutcher points out, “There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.”

I propose this, dear followers: Pick up the phone this holiday season. Stop what you’re doing or how somebody made you feel in the past and listen to your gut. Maybe some people will surprise you and others wont, but isn’t that the risk? The power of verbal communication, face-to-face communication (use Skype for other reasons, horn-dogs) and hand-written snail mail is far greater than a few simple clicks of your touch screen key pads. The best part of all of this is that it is all flawed and with flaws come vulnerability. To show your vulnerable side to somebody is to, brick by brick, move your wall down and show a part of yourself to a stranger that you want to let in. When you show you are inclined to open-up, show your silly, grammatically incorrect side it proves you have the balls to say “Look at me, I’m here in front of you, feeling pretty naked and my heart is available.” This season I challenge you to make that connection, be with a friend or new love interest. Make the effort and it will bring you 100% closer than any sort of “convenient” communication tool. I pinky promise.

You won't get any in Lynchburg, VA

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 12:08:03 -0500

I don’t know if you’ve all heard about the “Day of Purity” (a.k.a. Valentines Day) which celebrates abstinence until marriage, on Feb 14th, but thousands of schools around the US have been in support of this celebration.

And now Lynchburg, VA joins in on all the purity fun.

Lynchburg’s Mayor Joan Foster signed to support the Day of Purity, making Lynchburg, VA the first City to recognize this Day.

Easy for her to say, she’s been married and getting some (probably boring sex) for the last 41 years.

Thank God I know NYC will be the last city to observe this holiday. Hahaha.

-Stevie

Those HIV PSAs are scary—But are they worth it?

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 16:02:23 -0500

It’s hard for gay men under 30 to even fathom, but there was a time in the not-so-distant history of our culture when we were dying, in scores, every day, and none of us knew why.

The early ‘80s was a time of great confusion, as the HIV/AIDs pandemic swept through the gay community with the kind of veracity that that had religious zealots shouting that God had finally descended upon the sodomites to punish them for their sin. It took years for them pinpoint that the cause of gay deaths was AIDS caused by HIV infection, which was a result of unsafe sex, primarily between men (at the time, though now the spread of HIV between heterosexual partners is a reality, as well.)

But, as we finish 2010, AIDS fatigue has set in yet again. Our generation of young ay men knows that HIV infection is not a death sentence, and that a full life is possible, even if you’re positive, with the right treatment. Recent advancements on the HIV front (like possible preventative treatment and, most recently, the case of the first “HIV cure”), while wholly positive, are only furthering the disillusionment.

Collectively, it’s all rendered younger gays less careful when it comes to safer sex practices and downright reckless with their own health. Enter this recent PSA:

It’s a highly graphic and (yes) sensational warning for gays to use condoms, despite HIV’s treatability, because of other dangers, like increased risk of osteoporosis (usually associated with older women), dementia and anal cancer. It’s all very scary, and some organizations (like the Gay Men’s Health Crisis and GLAAD) are condemning them as demeaning and stigmatizing those who live with HIV.

Here’s the thing, though: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently released findings indicating that 1 in 5 gay and bisexual men (in a study of 21 major U.S. cities) is infected with HIV. Of those infected, nearly half (44%) don’t even know it and are at even greater risk of spreading it to others. According to the New York Department of Health, NYC remains the epicenter of HIV/AIDS in the U.S. (more than 107,000 New Yorkers are living with the virus.) New York City’s AIDS case rate is almost 3 times the U.S. average, and HIV is the 3rd leading cause of death for New York City residents aged 35 to 54.

Sorry, boys, but I think turning the trend of infection around is more important than NOT implying that HIV is a condition that will negatively affect your health for the rest of your life. It is, it will, and SOMETHING needs to be done so younger gay men understand the serious implications of unsafe sex.

Whether and how this ad will actually be effective is a different question. Will scare tactics work on younger generations who are desensitized by a more violent and abrasive media landscape? Maybe. Will those who are HIV-positive suffer an increased stigma and discrimination as a result of this kind of sentiment? Perhaps.

But I think potential ends of this campaign—to slow the spread of HIV and save lives from disease’s life-altering and (yes) life-threatening effects—justify the questionable means.

Besides… Anyone have a better idea?

Frost-Bitten: A Guide to Keeping Warm This Season

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 13:23:29 -0500

The colder the wind-chill, the craving to stay in bed and damn your snooze button with your loved one grows. When the holiday season trolls about, whether you’re a Scrooge or a ‘Love Actually’ enthusiast, it’s a known fact that the human body yearns for body-heat from that of another. Being a terrible morning person myself, I have difficulty getting out of my Uggs (judge away), grandpa sweater and Egyptian cotton thread count to begin with - when a man is added into this equation (boots and sweater tossed) it’s even more of a chore to get out of slumber mode. Now, I know this is the time where New York is bustling about with tourists, rage sets in when you view your online banking and a muddled look into your personal life regarding what to get, who to buy for and the like builds into your To-Do list. The question about this holiday season on my mind is: “Is it worth it?” The stress that is. Have we forgotten about what the holiday season is about? For more of a simple-minded queer, such as myself, all I’d like to do for a majority of this season is burrow away from the world with the beau and share the season together.

Here are a couple of ideas to keep your romance alive, your heart a flutter and stay seasonally intone with your body:

Cook Together: Yes, how trite can you get…but honestly, nothing is sexier than when a guy knows how to use his hands in the kitchen. And in all sincerity, when a bottle of red is added into the equation you know where the night is going.
Spontaneity: Nobody has time for another person right now let alone time for themselves. Be spur of the moment and make quick plans or surprise prince charming with something that reminded you of him that morning.
Gift of Not-Giving: When it comes to giving this holiday season, keep it small - leave the giving (and receiving) to the bedroom.
Have sex…lots of it. Pay extra attention to parts you haven’t explored just yet.
There’s No “I” in “Us”: Make sure you make time for yourself, the worst thing anybody could be is a clinger. That is when I will not call you, if you are living on my Facebook chat, GChat, cell-phone. Nobody likes a bugaboo, even YOU. Have time for yourself to work-out post-work, read, head out with your friends and so forth.
Terms of Encouragement: Now where I don’t need a gold star for every little task I do or thoughtful action I do, I know I do like a little encouragement here or there. No harm in returning the favor or assuring your guy you care. But take the easy route, tool bags - ie: BUYING something to say what you mean never works. Diamonds aren’t always a gays best friend, even if you try so desperately to play off Marilyn Monroe’s (coughcoughLindsayLohanforsomeofuscoughcough) favorite accessory.
Make your relationship a priority. Period. No excuses needed.
Communication Station: Keep an open-door policy, especially during some cold times.
Be a Jew: I said it. Have a day off? Stay in with extra amounts of frugally purchased (and extra greasy) Chinese food and be winter martyrs…together!
New Year, Be Queer: SPEND TIME OUTSIDE together - go dance, go do your thing WITH your gentleman caller. Nobody like’s to be a kept, stay at home. And hey, if your “scene” doesn’t mesh up, it’s called compromise - relationships are all about give and take. Make it werq, jerq.
Role-Play: Don’t live under what the outside expectations of what “you” should be. There are no roles in gay relationships, we are GAY, we are QUEER, we are ODD, we stray from the NORM - do whatever fits “you.”
Ask Ernie: Rubber Duckies are Loads of Fun: Shower together. Bathe together. Steam together. Blow off some steam together while steaming together. All do-able.
Post-It? Scratch Off: Keep hitting the snooze, make an excuse to work and lay in for another hour or two. The trains do run late here and it’s an easy way out. Plus, your morning “situation” will be cleared and your day will be stress free.
Bundle Up, It’s The Law: Share clothes, even if you aren’t the same size. Sweaters are made to be roomier, so keep it warm and smell like your man all day long to keep your mind in the clouds and challenge your work day.
Skating With The Stars: Bust out your jeggings like Johnny Weir and actually use the city to your advantage. Sure it’s pricy, but it’s outside the “normal movie, burger, backset” date approach. GO ON DATES - I know once you have hit the relationship level, those become few and far between for some. Make it happen…why swing by Serendipity3 afterwards for a frozen hot chocolate too. It’s a tradition here in New York and y’all can pretend it’s calorie-free.

Your outlook on this season may be looking grim…but remember, romance is far from dead.

WHO PAYS FOR DINNER?!

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 13:02:07 -0500

The age old question in gay dating of “who pays for dinner?” came up recently for me, and I want to share my thoughts on the issue. Straight couples have it easy because there are years of history supporting the idea that the man is supposed to pay for dinner. But what happens when you are BOTH men?

Some say that even gay relationships have one more masculine and one more feminine person, and sometimes this is true, but even so, who is to say the more feminine man is any less of a man. I myself, usually date guys that are relatively equal in lady-like habits. Sometimes they are a bit more masculine, sometimes a bit more feminine, but close enough where it makes this question come up.

I for one am a firm believer that you need to split the bill if it is early on in the relationship. If I were going to dinner with a close friend, or a boyfriend, I don’t see it a big deal for us to pay for each other sometimes, because I know that at some point in the future the person treating will get treated back. But when it is a first, second, or third date you don’t have that idea that you will definitely be seeing each other again. By one person paying for the other, you are already establishing a few things that could doom the potential of the relationship.

There are three main potential relationship-ruiners when one person is paying:

1. The person being treated to dinner feels that they owe something to the person paying.

2. The person paying is setting a precedent that he has more money than the other person.

3. The person being paid for is valued higher and has a position of power, as if the other person had to pay for their time.

I’ve had experience with all three of these issues in the past. (the second two many times being linked)

Let me give an instance that accounts for all three problems:

Lets say “Paul” buys me dinner. I immediately feel like I owe him something in return (#1). Maybe a kiss, maybe a handie in the bathroom (jk), or at the very least a second date. So the second date happens. Paul wants to pay for me again, because he (#2) has set a precedent that he has plenty of money to throw around. Now I’m starting to wonder why he wants to spend money on my dinner just for me to talk to him. Now I feel superior to him in a weird way (#3) and that I could easily have him if I wanted. And what, ladies and gentlemen, happens when you know something is too easy? You don’t want it anymore. There goes that potential boyfriend.

Some people say that whoever asks for the date should be the one to pay. This doesn’t make sense in the slightest bit to me. (and related directly to #3) Just because Paul is the one who asked me out, why should he have to pay. He’s not forcing me to go. If I didn’t want to spend the time going to dinner and getting to know him, I could have just as easily said no right? He’s already done the hardest part which is making the move to ask me out. Now I should make him pay for dinner too!?

I recently let someone foot the bill for me. And thankfully he seems pretty great, otherwise I’d be thinking about #2 or #3. But already I’m thinking about #1, and decided I want to treat next time to even things out. Maybe I’m just weird and over thinking the idea of “who pays?”. But I think I’m on to something.

-Stevie

"Real love isn’t about sex. If you’re lucky enough in your life to find..."

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 11:23:07 -0500

“Real love isn’t about sex. If you’re lucky enough in your life to find ‘love’, you realize how relatively unimportant sex is. And you realize that you would never walk away from love for a blow-job. You know? Love is about getting old together, raising a child together, it’s about sharing your life…it’s not about orgasms, and so many people confuse that, they think that good sexual chemistry is love. Good sexual chemistry is a reason to sign on to a lifetime together and then a few years down the road they find they made a big mistake. So even though our book is about sex, one of the points we’re trying to make it that people take sex way too seriously.”

- Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn

Babylon - Angus & Julia Stone For the hopeless romantic in...

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 13:56:27 -0500

Babylon - Angus & Julia Stone

For the hopeless romantic in all of us…

-Jonathan

Heartbreak Down - P!nk All I wanted from youWas a night maybe...

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 21:13:00 -0500

Heartbreak Down - P!nk

All I wanted from you
Was a night maybe two
You beat me at my own game
Now It’s not okay
I’m the one that’s missing out
All i needed to do
Was get just a taste of you
And now I’m sick all in my head
You poisened me instead
Trust me, trust me, I think I got heartbreak down

Just a taste of P!nk’s latest effort off of her Greatest Hits…So Far!!! album Never disappointing and always heartbreaking with a side of pop-tartiness.

-Jonathan

Stevie NYC: Taking applications for a "Winter Boyfriend"

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 14:09:20 -0500

Stevie NYC: Taking applications for a "Winter Boyfriend":

stevienyc:

CLICK HERE FOR WINTER BOYFRIEND APPLICATION

So today is the one year anniversary of my last break up. Wah wah wah. No biggie, I’m over it. It started in the summer but ended right when the weather was getting it’s worst.

So I decided that this year, I should get a boyfriend just for the cold…

For all the single fella’s that frequent the East Village...

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 18:00:00 -0500

For all the single fella’s that frequent the East Village & want in on a little bit of the fun…

Join EVB for a night out & don’t forget your hankies…

-Jonathan

tylerwilliams: Despite the plethora of blogs a New Yorker could...

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 14:47:30 -0500

tylerwilliams:

Despite the plethora of blogs a New Yorker could inadvertantly end up on, someone has added a new terrifying prospect to the mix: NYC Subway Guys.

The idea of NYC Subway Guys is that you send in your discreet cell phone photos (a la People of Walmart) of good-looking guys you spot while enduring the MTA subway system.

This is my new favorite website.

Attractive gays of New York City, be warned: you must be camera-ready at all times. I don’t care if you’ve just finished a performance in your finest drag or are enjoying a relaxing Sunday morning subway-ride-of-shame; my camera WILL find you.

- Tyler

TJ Kelly: Whats Love Got to Do with It?

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 20:06:56 -0400

TJ Kelly: Whats Love Got to Do with It?:

I recently have been so busy with work, dating has gone out the window. In January and February I had been on a dating spree, all of which went no where. Allot of first dates but no one I really wanted a second date with.

One of these dates was with a gorgeous Brazilian man who had stated he was…

tjkelly10: LOVE This what would your list look like?? Here is...

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 14:06:52 -0400

tjkelly10:

LOVE This what would your list look like?? Here is mine…

1. Jared Leto

2. Ryan Reynolds

3. Edward Norton

4. Neil Patrick Harris

5. Mark Salling

glamber:

I SO feel that. My list goes like this:

1. Ben Affleck

2. Matthew Fox

3. ANDY SAMBERG

4. Ed Burns

5. Henry Cavill (Charles Brandon in The Tudors)

Yours?

fitnessandfrosting:

If you could sleep with any five celebrities, who would you choose?

My #1? Yes, it’s true? ANDY SANDBERG…
My husband is cool with it!
xoxo